The Confederacy of Awful Reasons is a huge, orderly nation, remarkable for its punitive income tax rates, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 722 million Awful Reasonsians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 68.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant Awful Reasonsian economy, worth 12.6 trillion Golden Tigers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Cheese Exports, and Tourism. Average income is 17,399 Golden Tigers, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Urban graffiti is hand-calligraphed in perfectly kerned elegant fonts, clergy who start talking about politics are forced to take a holy vow of silence, an alabaster statue of an ancient cat-deity takes pride of place in the centre of Awful Reasons City, and epidemiologists happily announce that the reported incidence of depression is close to zero percent. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Awful Reasons's national animal is the Tiger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Awful Reasons is ranked 183,073^rd in the world and 6,592^nd in Lazarus for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 50 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.